The day started out good as days go, especially work days. I had settled into my desk and began going about my work; even as much as finding a rhythm to one of the songs on the radio to mark time as I completed the task I was assigned.
About 1210 PM, I was summoned into the office of my director to get a performance review. You know the type, a report card of sort to show those tasks you have done well on, those that could stand improving, and how to go about improving in that area. The review, especially the improvement part, was not delivered at all in a demeaning kind of way, unlike some reviews I have received over my employment where the reviewer (usually a supervisor or manager) had delivered the news in a not so professional manner; in short, they lack having any type of Emily Post (the etiquette lady; and yes, she was real) or home training.
Of course, as in the past, I had gotten extremely emotional over the review to the point my day was affected. I had tried to mask my inner feelings, but I have never been good at that. I though I was well past that, but I guess I am not.
Now in my former life I would just go home with that black rain cloud over my head and have myself a pity party knowing damn well no good would come of it. I had to do something to make myself feel better (paraphrasing that line from the movie The Players Club). First, I went to the gym and engage in a cardio workout with some stretching…I really needed that, my body, mind and spirit thanked me.
Second, being a subscriber to several blogs that covers those topics of interest or just to stimulate my mind, I had read a post from Barrie Davenport’s blog liveboldandbloom.com entitled, ”Don’t Get Your Panties In A Wad Over Nothing” (highly recommend). Although the post specifically talks about the Newtown School Shooting and how at times we feel anger and frustration over current events that we have no control over, The message I got out of it was that despite all that is happening around us, the only thing we can change and take control of is ourselves. That being said, I can take this ”constructive criticism” and use it in a positive way to help me improve on those areas I need help in, and that includes asking for help(sometimes when I ask a question; it seems that I am bothering them; I have gotten that look that says ”you don’t know?” ”How long have you been doing this?”) I don’t know; I am going to have to throw that out with the bath water, damnit!!!. If I need help, I will ask for it; end of discussion.
For now, this is my time to make me feel better. I am scrolling on the Direct TV viewing guide while listening to early Christmas baroque music on Pandora (another interest of mine), I see a few of my favorite things to watch (borrowing from Rodgers & Hammerstein), one of those being ”A Charlie Brown Christmas”. I love me some Charlie Brown; I have been watching this special for as long as I can remember…and it never gets old. TCM (Turner Classic Movies) has a couple of Judy Garland movies on this evening: ”In The Good Old Summertime” and ”Meet Me In St. Louis”. As I have mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I am a big fan of classic movies, and these are a couple of good ones to get lost in tonight. I am feeling better already.
Tommorrow, I will then tackle the constructive criticism.