I Do Not Give Unless I Am Asked….

Prompt from the Daily Post

” Tell us about something you have done that you would advise a friend never to do.”

Tell them how to lose weight, even if you notice they need help.

And that advice will not be given unless asked.

Why?  In reflecting on my own experiences, I received and have taken a lot of advice…some good, but taken for the wrong reasons.

Advice given by your parents; although their intentions were good and may have been in the right place ( “diabetes and heart disease runs in the family…xxx died of a heart attack at 32; she had too much fat around her heart…”); some was just straight up insulting to shame you(“don’t you care about how you look? What guy wants to be seen with a fat girl …except at night? …you read between the lines on that one)

What about this one (“I will be the only mother to have a fat daughter there”…” In reviewing your application for this position, I have decided to go in another direction; it is not that you can’t do the job, you experience backs you up, it’s just…”)Now you know that is not the case, but when you hear and receive responses such as those, your self esteem, confidence and self worth has just been flushed away after already been in the toilet…)

I am still working through those issues to this day;

Or this one(“…stop wasting your time and money if you are not really dedicated about this…”) That was given by a Weight Watchers advisor back in the late 80s…the word I heard about this individual was that she had a life impacting event(not health related) that has resulted in her figure taking an “upward direction”and is having a hard time dealing with it. Karma perhaps?

There are more examples, but what I am getting at is this: If the individual needs to lose weight for reasons known only to them, they have  do this for himself or herself and no amount of begging, pleading, shaming or even a visit to the doctor (which may include hospitalization)will change that.

It may sound cold and may even come across as uncaring, but you cannot get an individual to accomplish caring for their body by passing shame, blame or insulting.

Besides, you could still lose the weight and do all those things…and still not get the position or status you so desired.