Starting Over…Then and Now

It is never easy to start over when one loses a job whether the individual has been laid off, let go, fired… Those are the moments where I literally felt the world stopped turning, for life as I once knew it was forever changed, and I was entering unchartered waters; it began on a clear sunny October day in the year 2006. I will not get into the particulars as to how it happened; let’s just say that there was a disagreement over what was said in a phone conversation that my superior at the time overheard; it was totally taken out of context and…draw your own conclusions. Now newly unemployed, at this point my concerns were two: finding employment that would allow me to maintain my current standard of living, or prepare to accept the inevitable (as in accepting a position at less pay and hope for the best, perhaps a BIG pay raise around the corner?) I started my job search dressed for success with resumes in hand and thinking the world was my oyster, so to speak. I would find a job that would allow me to maintain my standard of living (I had a house I had just bought that I was planning to furnish a little at a time…) Fast forward to one month later…I was getting discouraged big time; I was not making any headway; it was also durning the holiday season; I was bummed out but nonetheless determined to go forward. Fast forward to the present…it has been almost six years and I have been on one hell of a ride. To start, I had to accept a position at about 35% of what I was earning before. Eventually my house was foreclosed because the income needed to remain was not there. I had come to the realization in that the lifestyle I once had was gone and I had to learn to adjust to living on a lower salary…or I was really going to be left behind. I also learned a lot about myself as well…that I did not love myself ( yes, that is what I said) very much; I was always comparing myself to others as to why I did not have what others have, have a certain look, job, etc. And to add insult to injury, I let other individuals dictate how I was to be by doubting myself simply because I felt in my mind that I was not good enough. I am still an ungoing work in progress. Yes I’ve had to downsize and at times it is a struggle to make ends meet. I get angry and yell, curse and scream (I am human), and yet I am learning to take each day at a time and offer it up to God, asking for his graces to do the best I can do for today; not for tommorrow, not for yesterday (which has come and gone), but for today. Perhaps you are experiencing your own trials and doing the best you can; know that you are not alone in your struggle(s).