My fear of Not fulfilling what I REALLY want to do

Have I always had this fear? YES.

How severe is it?

Severe enough to realize time is ticking away. Back in the spring I was asked what I really would like to do with my life, and I said something in the performing arts. I didn't think much of that …until Memorial Day weekend when my sister suggested that I should perhaps start a blog since I loved writing , which is true. The blog became a reality in July, though I need to keep it up and not let it fall by the wayside.

My other love is acting. I was always discouraged from trying it because I was told that:

1) I would never make money

2) It is a "pipe dream"

3) I did not have what it takes to succeed

4) I need to major in something that will make me money, like accounting

(In my opinion, you have to be blessed with the talent to tackle math and science…it cannot be learned…it cost me plenty having to get tutors each semester).

My biggest regret is that I allowed myself to believe those thoughts because I did not believe in myself enough to even try them…and then there is the money issue.

I may not ever be a big name celebrity(nor am I looking to go there at this point). but I do have gifts and I going to go out and give it a try starting by seeing some local productions around town and getting involved one way or another. I know of a few places where I can get in on the action…for me it is the love of the craft that motivates…and not only do i crave it, I need to have that release , for when yourk around those at your day job who are always bitching and trying to get one up on somebody on a daily basis or are envious of what you have, it poisons the atmosphere, w.
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