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Raw, Naked and Exposed…

The last post that was written on this blog was on New Years Day 2016.
A lot has happened since then.  I have had a lot of downturns in my life, that has not happened on a major scale since 2008. 2016 started like 2015 ended; chaotic.  How you ask?
I went out on leave in early April so I can “get it together”.  It worked for a while, then the black hole opened and I have been swallowed up by the following:*My job drained me better than Drano+; all I wanted to do is stay home in bed
*My parents needs are constantly increasing, leaving me with
virtually no down time (One of them had two major surgeries
past year, and all is still not right)
*I am suppose to do this, plan for this, spend money on that,
take me here, take me there, get me this, that, whatever
*”So and So” is going to their daughter’s house for the holidays, when are you going to invite your father and me?
* I’m the one that’s sick, but have to go and get my own food
…. when will I be taken care of?

You get the picture.  But was I able to keep from being swallowed  up by that black hole?  NO!

I was made to feel ugly all over, from my appearance to my
job. My self worth took a serious beating. I felt worthless. It was very sad, because I believed that about me.(l could withstand the heat being if it came from the outside, but it did not)

The election? We are not going there at all; draw out your own
damn conclusions on that one…and keep them to yourself.

The holidays? I do not have it in me to celebrate another holiday ever again…now I understand why families become estranged before, during, and after.

All of this started to take a major toll on my health.  Yeah I was exercising 3 to 4 days a week, but my eating habits were extremely poor.

When I attempted to unchained myself,  I got chained again.
And that cycle kept repeating itself over and over and over…
until it reached its peak in early February…2017.

The latest but not the greatest….

I suffered a severe respiratory infection…only to find myself in the emergency room a week later with a pretty bad bout of asthma
…a week after that, I suffered the worst toothache since

2000; x-rays revealed an abscessed tooth that needed to be extracted, along with a root canal to the tooth next to it.
The folllowing week, I had issues within my digestive system along with inflammation in my upper abdomen …my GI doctor performed an endoscopy to check my “swallowing pipes”…only to pull the plug on sweets and fried
 foods for a minimum of six months….with the hope that I will embrace the changes and make them permanent.
That would be enough to make one leave the human race for good, given the state of humankind in general, and the planet in particular…Instead, I decided to go back in and start over.

Fast forward to today’s date…I am making an effort once again to get back in my game, which I have to admit gets harder as I get older.  I have made it point to maximize the use of my free time….although it is tax season, and my parents have yet to file their taxes…I am hoping and praying that it will not be an all day affair…
I keep telling myself  that this will be the year that I get my house in order… but again something always come up that I get sucked up in this “black hole”. Last year, it was the Chrysler Sebring that ate up my entire tax refund(timing belt, alternator, alternator belt), this year it is my teeth and the doctors that ate up my entire tax refund….I the hell can’t seem to catch a break…and I know is that I have to get out and stay the hell out.
The question is how to do it, as the wicked witch once said.

2016 was supposed to have been my year…it ended in disaster.
I will be damned if I let 2017 end that same year.

One moment at a time, that is all I can do.

I am throwing out the first pitch….
Now as for my job…To be continued….
+Drano is a registered trademark of SC Johnson and Son, Inc.
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About Annye

I am an administrative assistant who started blogging to share my life experiences.

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